| Song of the Moment |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tuesday, August 22, 2006 |
|
|
|
|
|
My 2¢
I left a comment on another weblog and since have been asked if one of the examples in the comment I left has to do with me?
I answered that question with another question, “When have I ever had a woman worship the ground I walk on?”
Exactly!
So, no … none of the examples have to do with me. I guess I can see the resemblance of one of the examples, but no … it’s not me!
As far as having a woman worship the ground I walk on, that would be a total turn-off to someone like me. I would perceive a woman like that as too needy emotionally, mentally, and spiritually and that’s just not attractive.
I like a woman to be strong and confident emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I don’t want a woman to view me as a solution (or distraction) to all her problems, but as a source of love, trust, and encouragement. I want her to know I’m someone that will stand with her while she resolves whatever conflicts she may encounter and that any resolution will come from within herself, not from without.
At the same time, I find it equally undesirable when a woman is just the opposite and won’t share anything with you. I find it extremely frustrating when a partner chooses to fight every battle on her own and won’t let you help in any way you can.
Not only is she hurting herself, but also the relationship. When your partner won’t let you help, it leaves you feeling distant, helpless, and not trusted. Feelings that aren’t exactly relationship nurturing.
The truth is, I have no room to talk. I’m so guilty of that! I’m really bad about keeping things to myself and internalizing everything and refusing any help from anyone.
If I ask myself why I’m that way, I come up with two reasons:
1. Pride. I don’t like to admit I can’t do something on my own and ask for help. It really hurts my pride and/or ego.
2. Trust. I don’t think I trust someone enough to stick with me, which is bad enough, but devastating after making yourself more vulnerable by opening up. Plus, it seems the only person you can truly count on is yourself.
Anyway, at least I have made attempts to be more open to accepting help and realizing I’m only human. I have to admit, it’s still really hard and I don’t like how it feels.
In the end, I don’t think it really matters because it seems like when you REALLY need help, no one is willing to help and you’re left on your own anyway.
Before I get too pessimistic, I just want to say that even though I find it unattractive when a woman has that attitude like she worships the ground her guy walks on, I’m still somewhat envious because I know that it’s not all based in low self-esteem.
I’ve found that a lot of it has to do with the fact that the woman really loves, trusts, cares for, and respects her man.
That’s all I want. I don’t want to be seen as perfect or put on a pedestal. I still want her to see me as the flawed person I am, but also see that I realize having her love helps make me a better person.
What’s sad is that it seems that women who feel that way usually end up feeling that way about someone that doesn’t deserve it. It’s like they see something special in someone once and won’t let it go until that person repeatedly hurts them and that becomes all that they can see.
And in that, I think that’s where it’s easy to see how low self-esteem plays a part.
I mean, I don't think it's emotionally or mentally healthy to view your partner as better than you.
Not only is it personally unhealthy to view your partner as anything more than an equal, but I don't think it's very healthy for the relationship either. You're just setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment.
It seems that when someone views his/her partner that way, it creates a lot of negative emotions. It leaves the person feeling not only lucky for having such a wonderful partner, but many times also not good enough, which causes possessiveness and lack of trust.
With that ... I'm out of here!
Posted by: Tester
Posted at: 11:43 PM
0 comment(s)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thursday, July 13, 2006 |
|
|
|
|
|
Killing My Heart
Did your HEART ever want something that your MIND wasn’t sure was good for you? And it seems that no matter how much your MIND protests, your HEART still wants what it wants.
How does one reconcile this disagreement?
Obviously, the HEART won’t go along quietly with the MIND. It’s definitely going to make itself known and felt and make your SOUL absolutely miserable.
So, does the MIND have to give into the HEART’s desire? If so, can it do so and shut the hell up at the same time? Or is it going to keep you feeling divided by whispering all it’s doubts and fears into your ears?
Can one silence the MIND ... or the HEART?
Now I know why Davy Jones cut his heart out and put it in a box and buried it.
"The Kill" by 30 Seconds to Mars
What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do, do, do? Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do? (do)
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for
I'm not running from you (from you) Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, this is who I really am Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
Come, break me down
Break me down
Break me down What if I wanted to break...?
Posted by: Tester
Posted at: 1:38 AM
0 comment(s)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tuesday, July 04, 2006 |
|
|
|
|
|
Happy 4th of July
Since today is one of my favorite holidays, I thought I’d update with a song that reflects my feelings.
I tried finding a video of a singer I like singing “America, the Beautiful.” I always liked the song and have even wondered why it’s not our national anthem.
Anyway, I know by posting this video, I might be seen as part of “the redneck agenda” (for loving my country), but trust me … I have MY OWN agenda. For some reason, it seems to piss off everyone equally. That’s only because everyone in the world, except me, are dumb fucking, fuckers!
With that said, I have something to say to all the fucking fuckers in America …
HAPPY 4th of JULY!!!
As an American, you can do whatever you want. The only person that determines what you do, how much money you make, and how happy you are is … YOU! So shut your fucking mouth and quit your whiny ass bitching and complaining and do something … or don’t … it’s your choice! But seriously, please shut your fucking mouth. If you spent as much time and effort at pursuing your dreams as you do trying to find something to blame your lack of ambition and motivation on … you’d already be living your dream. Then again, maybe your dream is to be a little whiny ass bitch. 
“Dream as big as you want to!”
Posted by: Tester
Posted at: 1:39 AM
0 comment(s)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thursday, June 29, 2006 |
|
|
|
|
|
Exit Light ...
I am so freakin' tired right now, which is why I'm updating with this video. This song really takes me back ... way back! Yikes!
If I die before I wake, I'll see you all in Hell ... from Heaven. 
Posted by: Tester
Posted at: 9:56 PM
0 comment(s)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Friday, June 23, 2006 |
|
|
|
|
|
Closer
Back in my teens, I listened to “Nine Inch Nails” a lot … especially “The Downward Spiral” CD.
I don’t know, I just felt so numb back then and the songs seemed to reflect what I was feeling. It’s like you know you can feel and want to feel so badly, but all you feel is nothing … an emptiness … a void.
That’s how I feel right now … numb!
I don’t know why, today was a pretty good day, but yet … there it is.
Maybe it’s because I realized something earlier that I don’t want to acknowledge or maybe it’s because I’m really, really exhausted. In any case, maybe this song will bring me closer to myself.
"I've got no Soul to sell"
"You can have my isolation"
*By the way, this song doesn't have anything to do with fucking, at least not for me. I mean, guys would be fucking every second of every day if it were possible, so that goes without saying. I have been accused of being animalistic though, but that's a story for another time ... probably never.
Posted by: Tester
Posted at: 8:55 PM
0 comment(s)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Friday, May 26, 2006 |
|
|
|
|
|
I'm on the Outside
Okay, from what I’ve read, there’s no way to “force” a browser to do anything … which is good I suppose. I mean, I hate the idea of a site forcing my browser to do something. I get pissed when I get those “Active X” pop-up boxes.
Really, I guess if you could “force” a browser to do something … it would be really easy to spread viruses.
I guess an alternative could be to upload a font to an online file storage site and leave it up to a person to download and install it if they want.
Anyway, I changed the video once again. Last time was “Schism” by Tool.
Before that was “Weak and Powerless” by A Perfect Circle.
Before that was “Hips Don’t Lie” by Shakira. –drool-
Now it’s “Outside” by Staind.
“But I waste
More time than anyone”
“All the times
That I’ve cried
All this wasted
It’s all INSIDE
And I feel
All this pain
Stuffed it down
It’s back again”
The chicks in this video that are singing along are hot, especially the one they show often and the first one they show with her hair pulled back in stands ... she's a cutie!
Why is it so sexy when a woman gets into a song and sings along while at a concert?
It only really seems to work with "Rock," "Country," and "Punk" songs, and usually songs that have some emotional truth to them.
I've never seen a girl sing along at a "Pop," "Rap," "Hip/Hop" concert that I found sexy.
Let me explain that.
I'm not saying there aren't sexy women at those types of concerts, there's usually more sexy women at those concerts, but if they sing along it doesn't make them any sexier ... so I imagine it has something to do with the music as well ... at least for me.
So what I should have said was, "I've never seen a girl at a 'Pop,' 'Rap,' or 'Hip/Hop' concert where the act of singing along made her even sexier."
I'm not sure about "R&B" though. That might work. The lyrical content and emotional sincerity of the songs are there ... but I don't know if the beat of the music would be right. I mean, it might come off overly dramatic ... like girls at a "boy band" concert.
You know the ones I'm talking about, the one's that cry and shake like they're just so overwhelmed.
That's repulsive!
Posted by: Tester
Posted at: 6:04 PM
0 comment(s)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Monday, May 15, 2006 |
|
|
|
|
|
Weak and Powerless
First off, I changed the video. No! I didn’t get tired of looking at Shakira … who could? It’s just that I felt the need to express how I’m feeling at the moment.
Secondly, I still haven’t figured out a way to “force” a web browser to show a font.
I mean, like on this site, I used the font “Chiller” for the date and I think it looks really cool … but I’ve been informed that it doesn’t show up by people that don’t already have that font installed.
Anyone know how to do that? Is it even possible?
Posted by: Tester
Posted at: 2:17 AM
0 comment(s)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| MARVEL, SPIDER-MAN, DOCTOR OCTOPUS and all MARVEL character names and distinctive likenesses thereof: TM & © 2003 Marvel Characters, Inc. All Rights Reserved. MARVEL and SPIDER-MAN: Trademarks registered in the USA and certain other countries. © 2003 Sony Pictures Digital Inc. All rights reserved. |
|
